How a Badass Tech Entrepreneur Survives a Zombie Apocalypse

When you hear the term ‘zombie apocalypse’, your mind instantly conjures up images of people being run over by hordes of mindless zombies, tearing and eating their victims’ flesh and brains. You imagine a desolate place, where life has come to a standstill. The civilization has ended. There is no economy in existence. Correct?

Well, think again!

A zombie apocalypse can be one of the most promising grounds for disruptive innovation for an enterprising tech entrepreneur. Where you see hungry, killing machines, an entrepreneur sees an intensely motivated workforce that never tires, never goes on leave, requires no salaries or benefits, and most importantly, is always ready to pick brains, albeit literally.

Armed with such a massive army of relentless workers, a badass entrepreneur can build the biggest, baddest, and the most futuristic global conglomerate that will outlive many generations. Here’s how.

Power

Well, solar is cool. But, it takes a sh*t ton of investment, time, and effort to build one. You obviously don’t have that kind of resources. So, where do you start?

Perpetual walking machines!

Catch some zombies and put them in some kind of hamster wheels, and dangle meat in their face. The wheel is, of course, connected to an electrical generator that produces electricity. The more they peddle, the more energy they create. Sell electricity to existing humans (or as we call them zombies-to-be), and build energy farms by capturing more zombies. That’s a limitless supply of free energy. It can be sold in intervals called, wait for it….KiloWalks per Hour!

Now that you think about it, perhaps, Puerto Rico would have fared better under a zombie apocalypse than under Drumpf’s hurricane relief measures. Boriqua!

Money

But, you need money to realize all your dreams. So, stick some sandwich boards on some zombies and free them into the world outside. By instinct, they will go near living people. In other words, your ads will search and reach the very people who will read your ads. How crazy is that!

Advertise your products and services. Get people interested and let them come to you.

Finally, you can even do an initial coin offering (ICO) to generate funding on blockchain, once you are a fairly large businesses, who can afford to build another cryptocurrency. You can call it, wait for it…. Bitecoin!

Slave Labor

Once you have your army of zombies, you can fit them with VR headsets and show them whatever they need to see to perform various low skilled jobs.

Beam images of a human running in front of them, as they stomp on the grapes to produce fine wine.

Tie them up to farm tools and get them to plow the fields.

Hell, put them in a race course and allow people to bet on who will win.

Think about it. Something good might come out of VR and zombies. Today, VR turns normal productive humans into fast food eating, couch potato zombies. Tomorrow, you can use the same tech to turn real zombies into the most productive lifeform in existence on this planet.

You know what, you can even sell your own branded zombies to people all over the world. Wait for it….Zombitches!

Greed

Once you have found your zombie apocalypse solution, there is no stopping you. In such a world, there is no government to stop you from becoming a monopoly. So, grow fast and never allow other players to enter or survive the market. You can call your monopoly, wait for it….. Amazombie! It’s got a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

Conclusion

You are an entrepreneur. Zombie outbreak is not the end of the world. It’s just a disruption of the business landscape for you and great opportunity. Like any other business problem, you put your power, money, slave labor and greed to work and solve it, just like you do now.